When I got married, I was not sure what married life would look like. Oh sure, my parents were married and I had a great example of that. However, I wasn't sure on a day to day basis what it would look like for me.
After being married for a while, we found out we were pregnant. We had struggled to have a child and were told the chances were slim. I am not a terribly romantic person. In fact I am a realist with sentimental tendencies. So when we found out we were pregnant, I was so stunned I called Adam at work and blurted the news.
I wasn't sure what life with a kid would look like. Soon after Samuel arrived I knew my life had changed. It sounds so cliche to say that life would never be the same. But somehow everything changed. It was no longer all about me.
Now after having a second child I realize that life is totally different. Someone once told me that they never realized how much spare time they had when they were in college and working, until they had a child. Then they thought they were exhausted...until they had a second child. Then they couldn't imagine all the spare time. I understand that now that Ethan arrived.
I wouldn't change being a mom for anything. This year Adam and I will have been married for 9 years. It is hard to believe that time is flying so fast. There are days when marraige is hard. We don't agree on finances, children, discipline, or where we see ourselves in a few years. Then there are the really tough times when I look to my single friends and envy thier lives. The ability to come and go as they please. To splurge on a huge purchase and eat ramen noodles for a month to afford it.
But in the end, I find that there was a reason for everything in my life. My kids have taught me patience, strength, and willpower. They have taught me unconditional love and the ability to see past the wrongdoing and look to the reason for it.
I appreciate every moment. I see life now as a scrapbook. Every cute outfit, all of the "firsts", the funny faces and sayings....I don't want to forget one. I hope that God continues to bless my little family. I pray that I will continue to learn the life lessons from the trials and experiences that I am lead through. For that is what makes me the person I am today.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Friday, January 1, 2010
Playdates
When there is a group of young children playing together, there is bound to be fighting, bickering, tattletales, etc. It is inevitable that one kid hit another or someone said a bad word. These allegations are expected whenever more than one kid is thrown together in a situation.
But why is it that when you are at a party and someone comes downstairs to tattle on the unspeakable tragedies happening upstairs, you find yourself hesitating hoping they aren't going to mention your child's name?
We went to a party with several young children. There were two girls watching out for the younger kids. It was great to get to sit and talk to other adults, play an 80's game, laugh at something other than Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. Until one of the girls comes downstairs carrying a child bleeding from the mouth. Instantly all the mothers jump to the rescue asking what they can do to help. The fathers instantly offer to spank their child of choice. Then we all hold our breaths and tentatively ask, "how did this happen?" Ultimately we are praying that someone else will have to take on the bad seed.
I glance over and realize that my son is sitting nearby eating chips and dip. Whew -not my kid! A rush of relief passes over me as I realize that the incident won't forever taint my child as the "horrible hateful brat who busted the poor innocent little boys lip".
Why are parents so quick to judge other parents? Don't we realize that each one is secretly sharing our stresses, fears, and failures?
After spending some time with these other adults, I found that they had the same concerns of spanking too much, not disciplining the kids enough. Fear that thier child will be the out of control teen that never heard the word no.
Ugh. I try to tell myself that we are all doing the best we can. I was spanked as a child and I seem to be okay. I figure we as parents need to support each other, share information of what works for us, or suggestions if we have them. All for one and one for all, I say. Just a thought.
But why is it that when you are at a party and someone comes downstairs to tattle on the unspeakable tragedies happening upstairs, you find yourself hesitating hoping they aren't going to mention your child's name?
We went to a party with several young children. There were two girls watching out for the younger kids. It was great to get to sit and talk to other adults, play an 80's game, laugh at something other than Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. Until one of the girls comes downstairs carrying a child bleeding from the mouth. Instantly all the mothers jump to the rescue asking what they can do to help. The fathers instantly offer to spank their child of choice. Then we all hold our breaths and tentatively ask, "how did this happen?" Ultimately we are praying that someone else will have to take on the bad seed.
I glance over and realize that my son is sitting nearby eating chips and dip. Whew -not my kid! A rush of relief passes over me as I realize that the incident won't forever taint my child as the "horrible hateful brat who busted the poor innocent little boys lip".
Why are parents so quick to judge other parents? Don't we realize that each one is secretly sharing our stresses, fears, and failures?
After spending some time with these other adults, I found that they had the same concerns of spanking too much, not disciplining the kids enough. Fear that thier child will be the out of control teen that never heard the word no.
Ugh. I try to tell myself that we are all doing the best we can. I was spanked as a child and I seem to be okay. I figure we as parents need to support each other, share information of what works for us, or suggestions if we have them. All for one and one for all, I say. Just a thought.
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